It's been hot here. Got me thinking about the months (all hot) I served in Southern Illinois. But when I thought about it a little more, I realized that Massachusetts has So. Ill. thouroughly beaten. Here are just a few of the reasons:
Why So Ill is Soo Ill.
1. Chiggers
2. Seed ticks
3. Copperheads
4. Water Moccasins
5. Rattlesnakes
6. Huge biting flies
7. Pitbulls
8. Animal abuse
9. Rednecks
10. 100% humidity and 100 degrees for days at a time
Why Mass is not So Ill
1. Chiggers were the bane of my existence. I wrote my entire thesis draft with frequent breaks to itch and otherwise attend to my numerous chigger bites.
I found these techniques alleviate, but do not eliminate the burning itch associated with chigger 'bites' (they form tubes from your skin cells and suck out your juices, then die inside of you)
a. nail polish- yes, it feels nice and cool for about 30 minutes. Then it's back to itching, only this time you have to chip away the nail polish before you start scratching your skin off. Also, if you use red nail polish, you might get quarentined for scarlet fever before you get a chance to explain yourself.
b. Chigger-ex. Great stuff. It numbs the area temporarily. Only, I found that as the weeks of chigger itchies stretched on, it lost it's effectiveness. The burning itch continues. Also, if applied to already raw skin it stings.
c. Baking soda soaks and paste. The soothing effects only last a few minutes after drying. Also, if applied liberally, so that your legs appear to be in a full body cast, the caking, drying feeling isn't worth it.
d. scabies ointment. The campus doctor prescribed this for me. According to the box directions, I applied liberally to the affected area (my entire body essentially) and went to bed. Unfortunately, the stuff served only to isolate my bites in an oily paste, intensifying the irritation ten fold. I got up and took a hot shower (see below), and removed the paste at about 1:00 when I couldn't stand it anymore. Plus my sheets were all oily. It was nasty stuff.
e. Hot hot showers. Hottest water you can stand, directed at the affected area, for as long as you can stand elimates the itch for quite a while. It's amazing. I think something about the hot water causes your nerves to reverse fire and go haywire, and the itching-burning stops completely. It's amazing. However, once the tingleing sensation starts coming back, post shower, it's a quick progression to full blown itchiness. Use with care. When desperate, you could probably do some serious skin damage.
f. prednisone. Beware the side effects (hyperactivity), but embrace the full cure. A few days and my chiggers were just a very un-fond memory.
2. We don't have seed ticks. Yes, we have ticks, but they are full sized. I don't know where the baby ticks are, but I've never run into them. I am so glad I no longer have tiny black specks running all over my body after every run, dots I must chase down with masking tape, then attempt to soak off in a pesticide laced bath. I not longer get a pile of bloated tiny ticks off of my dogs legs when I run my fingernails up and down. Yuck. Seed ticks are the worst.
3. I guess we have copperheads in the state but I've never nearly stepped on one coiled in the middle of a trail. We saw a whopper at Giant City one hot evening. The dogs hopped over him, and he was ready to strike when I came to him. They blend so well into the leaves, that I almost got to take yet another trip to Carbondale Memorial Hospital. Thank you, good eyesight.
4. Yeah, we don't have water moccasins. I saw enough of these on the levy road to make me believe that So. Ill. is just infested. Oh, and they'll come after you, they're that aggressive. I've read that their bite isn't so bad in terms of poison (though it's bad), but the infection from their mouths is the killer.
5. We've killed off most of the rattlesnakes up here, and they were never very big or aggressive. Never saw one, somehow, but they had a hibernating den near the Cedar Lake Trail I always ran on.
6. We have deerflies but they're easy to squish. Squishing on the mammoth flies in So. Ill. takes a cold-press.
7. Pitbulls are relatively rare around here. Those that we do have are neutered and wear ribbons in their hair. I've never seen a pitbull running around tied to a chain, in a two foot deep run it's worn in the soil with it's circling around here. Yeah, doesn't happen.
8. Animal abuse happens everywhere, but it's less common (or at least much less publicly accepted) around here. Nobody ties their dogs up for their entire lives (it's banned in our town), people tend to spoil their dogs. Most dogs are relatively friendly. Dogs live better around here overall. We ship dogs up here from the south because there aren't enough locally dropped dogs in shelters.
9. Ya gotta go west or north of here to find rednecks. Ya gotta go quite a bit farther south of here to find a trash covered yard worthy of comparison to those found in So. Ill. We don't have whisky sills. Not enough hollers.
10. We only have a few days of this kind of hot weather. And normally the temperatures drop at night.
Sorry ya'll in Southern Illinois. It was tough for this lifelong Yankee to survive down there. I'll be getting my new camera soon. Be prepared for lots of slo-mo videos. Can't wait.
Why So Ill is Soo Ill.
1. Chiggers
2. Seed ticks
3. Copperheads
4. Water Moccasins
5. Rattlesnakes
6. Huge biting flies
7. Pitbulls
8. Animal abuse
9. Rednecks
10. 100% humidity and 100 degrees for days at a time
Why Mass is not So Ill
1. Chiggers were the bane of my existence. I wrote my entire thesis draft with frequent breaks to itch and otherwise attend to my numerous chigger bites.
I found these techniques alleviate, but do not eliminate the burning itch associated with chigger 'bites' (they form tubes from your skin cells and suck out your juices, then die inside of you)
a. nail polish- yes, it feels nice and cool for about 30 minutes. Then it's back to itching, only this time you have to chip away the nail polish before you start scratching your skin off. Also, if you use red nail polish, you might get quarentined for scarlet fever before you get a chance to explain yourself.
b. Chigger-ex. Great stuff. It numbs the area temporarily. Only, I found that as the weeks of chigger itchies stretched on, it lost it's effectiveness. The burning itch continues. Also, if applied to already raw skin it stings.
c. Baking soda soaks and paste. The soothing effects only last a few minutes after drying. Also, if applied liberally, so that your legs appear to be in a full body cast, the caking, drying feeling isn't worth it.
d. scabies ointment. The campus doctor prescribed this for me. According to the box directions, I applied liberally to the affected area (my entire body essentially) and went to bed. Unfortunately, the stuff served only to isolate my bites in an oily paste, intensifying the irritation ten fold. I got up and took a hot shower (see below), and removed the paste at about 1:00 when I couldn't stand it anymore. Plus my sheets were all oily. It was nasty stuff.
e. Hot hot showers. Hottest water you can stand, directed at the affected area, for as long as you can stand elimates the itch for quite a while. It's amazing. I think something about the hot water causes your nerves to reverse fire and go haywire, and the itching-burning stops completely. It's amazing. However, once the tingleing sensation starts coming back, post shower, it's a quick progression to full blown itchiness. Use with care. When desperate, you could probably do some serious skin damage.
f. prednisone. Beware the side effects (hyperactivity), but embrace the full cure. A few days and my chiggers were just a very un-fond memory.
2. We don't have seed ticks. Yes, we have ticks, but they are full sized. I don't know where the baby ticks are, but I've never run into them. I am so glad I no longer have tiny black specks running all over my body after every run, dots I must chase down with masking tape, then attempt to soak off in a pesticide laced bath. I not longer get a pile of bloated tiny ticks off of my dogs legs when I run my fingernails up and down. Yuck. Seed ticks are the worst.
3. I guess we have copperheads in the state but I've never nearly stepped on one coiled in the middle of a trail. We saw a whopper at Giant City one hot evening. The dogs hopped over him, and he was ready to strike when I came to him. They blend so well into the leaves, that I almost got to take yet another trip to Carbondale Memorial Hospital. Thank you, good eyesight.
4. Yeah, we don't have water moccasins. I saw enough of these on the levy road to make me believe that So. Ill. is just infested. Oh, and they'll come after you, they're that aggressive. I've read that their bite isn't so bad in terms of poison (though it's bad), but the infection from their mouths is the killer.
5. We've killed off most of the rattlesnakes up here, and they were never very big or aggressive. Never saw one, somehow, but they had a hibernating den near the Cedar Lake Trail I always ran on.
6. We have deerflies but they're easy to squish. Squishing on the mammoth flies in So. Ill. takes a cold-press.
7. Pitbulls are relatively rare around here. Those that we do have are neutered and wear ribbons in their hair. I've never seen a pitbull running around tied to a chain, in a two foot deep run it's worn in the soil with it's circling around here. Yeah, doesn't happen.
8. Animal abuse happens everywhere, but it's less common (or at least much less publicly accepted) around here. Nobody ties their dogs up for their entire lives (it's banned in our town), people tend to spoil their dogs. Most dogs are relatively friendly. Dogs live better around here overall. We ship dogs up here from the south because there aren't enough locally dropped dogs in shelters.
9. Ya gotta go west or north of here to find rednecks. Ya gotta go quite a bit farther south of here to find a trash covered yard worthy of comparison to those found in So. Ill. We don't have whisky sills. Not enough hollers.
10. We only have a few days of this kind of hot weather. And normally the temperatures drop at night.
Sorry ya'll in Southern Illinois. It was tough for this lifelong Yankee to survive down there. I'll be getting my new camera soon. Be prepared for lots of slo-mo videos. Can't wait.
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